How Friendship Affects Your Brain
Transcript
Friendships can hold an exceptional place in our life stories.
What is it about these connections that make them so unique?
Before we dive into the science, let’s first observe one in action.
If I could somehow design a best friend, you know, put together all the ideal qualities of my perfect match, that person would pale in comparison to Priya.
She can turn any situation into a good time— chemistry lab, band practice.
What I’m trying to say is I never laugh harder than when I’m with Priya.
And she’s always there for me.
Like last year after I got dumped by Te— you know what?
I don’t even want to mention their name.
It felt like my whole world was crashing down.
But as soon as I told Priya, boom, she was at my door.
I was a wreck, but she sat there with me and listened.
We’re always on the same page; it’s as if we can read each other’s minds!
And we can talk for hours— about anything.
I know my mom would say she has the phone bills to prove it.
If it seems like friendships formed in adolescence are particularly special, that’s because they are.
Early childhood, adolescent, and adult friendships all manifest a little differently in part because the brain works in different ways at those stages of life.
Adolescence is a unique time when peer relationships take focus, and thanks to the developing brain, there are changes in the way you value, understand, and connect to friends.
Teenage friends can seem attached at the hip.
Scientists describe adolescence as a social reorientation as teenagers begin to spend as much or more time with their friends than with their parents.
This drive to hang with pals may be due to changes in the brain’s reward center, known as the ventral striatum.
Its activation makes hanging out with others enjoyable and motivates you to spend more time with them.
Neuroimaging studies show that this region is highly reactive during your teenage years, which may explain why adolescents seem to place a higher value on social interactions than children or adults.
Teenage friendships can also feel more intimate than the friendships of your childhood.
This deeper connection is possible thanks to improvements in what scientists call Theory of Mind.
Theory of Mind is the ability to understand others’ emotions, thoughts, motivations, and points of view, and to realize that they may be different from your own.
While it may seem intuitive, this ability hinges on the careful coordination of various brain regions, sometimes referred to as the social brain.
Babies begin to develop Theory of Mind around 18 months or so.
Before that, it’s thought they believe that everyone perceives and knows exactly what they know.
It was once considered to be fully developed by age five, but scientists now know that Theory of Mind continues to improve and mature well into your teenage years and beyond.
Likewise, regions within the social brain show increased connectivity during adolescence compared with childhood.
As a result, teens can better understand their friend’s perspectives, allowing for deeper connections to flourish.
In the closest friendships, it can almost feel as if you’re metaphysically connected— two bodies and minds, perfectly in sync.
And there is science to this! Your ability to connect with others somewhat depends on the coordination of actions, emotions, physiology, and thoughts.
This is what psychologists call interpersonal synchrony.
You first show signs of the ability to sync with others as infants— synchronizing movements and babbling with your parents.
As you get older and spend more time outside the home, you increasingly show this synchrony with your peers.
For example, imagine walking down the street with a friend.
Often without consciously thinking, you stroll at the same pace and follow the same path.
You and your best friend may not be only on the same page, but also scientifically, in step.
Vocabulary List
exceptional
(adjective) unusually good; outstanding
dive into
(verb) to start doing something with great energy or enthusiasm
adolescence
(noun) the period of time in a person’s life when they are developing into an adult
manifest
(verb) to show something clearly, through signs or actions
peer
(noun) a person of a similar age, position, abilities, etc. as others in a group
intuitive
(adjective) able to know or understand something because of feelings rather than facts or proof
hinge on
(verb) to depend on something
perceive
(verb) to think of something in a particular way
flourish
(verb) to grow or develop successfully
metaphysically
(adverb) in a way that relates to the part of philosophy that is about understanding existence and knowledge
physiology
(noun) the branch of biology that deals with the normal functions of living organisms and their parts
babble
(verb) to talk quickly in a way that is difficult to understand
consciously
(adverb) in a way that shows that you are aware of something or noticing something
stroll
(verb) walk in a leisurely way
Grammar Point
compound nouns
Friendships can hold an exceptional place in our life stories.
The phrase “life stories” is a compound noun.
A compound noun is a combination of two or more nouns to create a single noun.
In the compound noun “life stories”, the noun “life” acts as an adjective and describes the noun “stories.”
The compound noun “life stories” means stories about life.
We use compound nouns to be more specific in our speech or writing so that our listeners or readers know exactly what we are referring to.
Additional examples of compound nouns with the main noun “stories”:
– horror stories (horror=noun)
– ghost stories (ghost=noun)
– love stories (love=noun)
– adventure stories (adventure=noun)
– detective stories (detective=noun)
– bedtime stories (bedtime=noun)
Other compound nouns in these video include:
– chemistry lab
– band practice
– phone bills
– adult friendships
– reward center
– neuroimaging studies
Common Expressions
pale in comparison
If I could somehow design a best friend, you know, put together all the ideal qualities of my perfect match, that person would pale in comparison to Priya.
The idiom “pale in comparison” means to seem much less good, important, or serious when compared to something else. It is often used to describe something that is very ordinary or unremarkable when compared to something that is extraordinary or exceptional.
For example, you might say that a local band’s performance pales in comparison to a concert by a world-famous artist. Or, you might say that your recent vacation pales in comparison to your trip to the Amazon rainforest.
get dumped
Like last year after I got dumped by Te— you know what?
The slang term “get dumped” means to be broken up with by your romantic partner. It can be used in a literal sense, as in “I got dumped by my boyfriend yesterday,” or in a more figurative sense, as in “I feel like I’m getting dumped by my friends lately.”
The term “dump” in this context has a negative connotation, suggesting that the person being dumped is being discarded or thrown away.
I’m a wreck
I was a wreck, but she sat there with me and listened.
The phrase “I’m a wreck” is a colloquial way of saying that you are feeling very stressed, overwhelmed, or exhausted. It can be used to describe a physical or emotional state, or both.
attached at the hip
Teenage friends can seem attached at the hip.
The phrase “attached at the hip” is an idiom that means two people are very close and spend a lot of time together. It is often used to describe close friends, siblings, or romantic partners.
in snyc
In the closest friendships, it can almost feel as if you’re metaphysically connected— two bodies and minds, perfectly in sync.
The phrase “in sync” means two or more things are moving or happening at the same time and speed. It can be used to describe physical objects, such as dancers or cars, or it can be used to describe abstract concepts, such as ideas or emotions.
in step
You and your best friend may not be only on the same page, but also scientifically, in step.
The phrase “in step” can have two meanings:
– Moving in unison with others. This is the most common meaning of the phrase. It is often used to describe people marching or dancing together. For example, you might say “The soldiers marched in step” or “The dancers moved in step to the music.”
– In agreement or harmony. This meaning is less common, but it is still used. For example, you might say “We are in step with our colleagues” or “Our team is in step with the company’s goals.”